i will miss the constant support of the girls who are here with me. i will miss how much these people have surprised me. i will miss the smell of cigarette smoke in athens. i will miss the smile of the ice cream man whose name i never learned. i will miss the twinkling of the stars outside my window when i am trying to sleep. i will miss this small christian community, which has been more like what i imagined the early church to be than anything i've ever experienced before.

but all of what i am leaving with follow me for the rest of my life. people never really leave the situations that have changed them if the change is permanent. and although there seem to be few (if any) changes in life that are permanent, i don't feel like as if this trip is really ending for me.

i have learned a lot about myself this semester. i can be excessively strong and weak, courageous and terrified, a sheep and a shepherd, ignorant and informed, compassionate and selfish, a helper and completely helpless, mature and childlike, a teacher and a student, outgoing and painfully shy, a deep thinker and hopelessly basic, and everything between. i can be perfectly grounded and floating 10 feet above the sidewalk. i can wear pink maryjanes and a black studded belt. i can be surrounded by friends and still feel lonely, and i can be in a room all by myself and feel completely fulfilled. i can know so much and still have everything in the world left to learn. and i still do have everything in the world left to learn.

only You can make every new day seem so new =)

i had the most amazing conversation with david the other evening, and i don't think we really actually talked about anything. other than marriage. yes, we are engaged. (no, dad, we aren't.) anyway, i was thinking about it for most of today. that was all well and good until tonight rolled around any this guy brian (who is visiting my friend mike here. complicated, i know, but stay with me) invites me to join him for dinner in athens for what was decidedly not a date. (it was not a date for several reasons, not the least of which is that he owns his own corporation and hates unions with a hatred that he described to me in detail). so while we are out for dinner, i call him david.

great, karyn. very smooth. it was funny. for me, at least.

i'm surprised he still paid for the cab ride home. anyway, we had some really great conversations about social issues when we were out together, and most of what he had to say positive made my jaw drop. in, you know, the worst way possible. but i responded the same way i always do when somebody says something that i completely and totally and in every way disagree with - "that is fascinating."*

tonight at church, dr. cochran delivered the sermon. and one of the things he mentioned is that, regardless of the people you might identify as your leaders, your leaders are the people you are becoming more like. i thought it was intriguing.

hey, here's something that will be fun for me and unbelievably boring for you... why don't i list off everything i've bought since i came to greece! whee!

- a beautiful table cloth with olive branches on it **
- a beautiful bowl with olive branches on it, presumably to match the table cloth **
- a butterfly knife
- 6 pairs of mary janes, all the same style in different colors ***
- a t-shirt designed by a wonderful man that i met, who creates art and gave me a free collage
- a patch with the old rising sun japanese flag, because japan is the ultimate
- a cute little piece of art featuring some musicians
- a camel-hair rug from egypt **
- a lot. of. papyrus. [the blank kind, for my sister to paint on. the one who doesn't read my blog, so i can mention her christmas gifts on it. =) ]
- various other gifts for my sisters that i can't mention because they might read this **
- pearl earrings [real pearls. i love them. they make me feel breathtakingly beautiful.] **
- a haircut =)
- some political postcards [and not a single greek postcard.]
- a pin featuring the head of john [my only purchase on the island of patmos.]
- various presents for my parents, which cannot be mentioned **
- a really awful shirt for my brother-in-law [i don't know him very well, so i settled on seeking out the most awful touristy shirt in egypt and hoping he would find it humorous. we'll see.]
- a ruffly pink shirt which i go between hating and loving

hey harding, i'll see you on saturday. hey parents, i'll see you... a few days after saturday. ****

oh i am a lonely painter - i live in a box of paints
i’m frightened by the devil
and i’m drawn to those ones that ain’t afraid
i remember that time that you told me, you said
love is touching souls
surely you touched mine 'cause part of you pours out of me
in these lines from time to time

oh you are in my blood like holy wine
and you taste so bitter, bitter and so sweet
oh i could drink a case of you
i could drink a case of you, darling
still i’d be on my feet
i would still be on my feet*****

* it really does work, daddy.
** i used your credit card for these things, m&d. my bad.
*** i only used the credit card for 3 pairs, and the rest was cash. better, eh?
**** i don't feel like counting on my fingers, but i think it might be thursday.
***** joni mitchell rocks my world.

pop quiz.

what happens when karyn does not really have enough time to post anything with too much substance?

yes - you guessed it: picture time. maybe inspiration will come later. no promises.


if one doesn't purchase huge glasses when in europe, it is a wasted trip.


my hair doesn't always look so... flippy. it was the wind, i guess. oh yeah, and there is one of the giza pyramids. and, you know, the sphinx. rock on. =)



phil looks like a dweeb in this picture, but i like the effects of the camera when set on "night vision". oh, the wonders of technology! here we are at a temple.



i'm reclining on one of the temple columns, to give you an idea of how huge everything we visited was. and how old. egypt: huge and old. i am such a world traveler.



our guide, osman, was amazing. he was such an encouragement. although he doesn't look too excited to be in this photo with me, he was so enthusiastic and personable. the step pyramid was awesome. sigh.


i just think that this shot is neat... i got to be so close to ancient hieroglyphics. the ruins of egypt are just so much more ancient than anything greek or turkish that we've seen... it's one thing to catch a glimpse of the world as paul knew it; it's quite another to see the civilization that moses knew. by the way, i promise that i had a pupil when the picture was taken.



um, justin richey and i have a fake relationship. which means that i would never date him. he's too... texan. and too republican. and just too attractive. but he's an awesome guy, and deserves to be on any decent blog.



yes yes yes, john kerry lost the election, but i still proudly wore my kerry/edwards shirt to climb mt. sinai... in the very presence of God. i am not ashamed. young and idealistic: yes. ashamed: never.



i exchanged e-mail addresses with a few people when i was in egypt... i would love to gain another perspective regarding the current state of the world. we got to talk a lot about islam and what it means in the context of terrorism and "holy" wars... it was fascinating. i don't think that i ever want to stop traveling... or, at least, i don't ever want to live in a place where i don't feel like i'm learning from everybody around me.

i used a ton of japanese when i was in egypt, surprisingly. i have barely spoken any japanese since i started college in arkansas (not so surprisingly), but since being overseas i have used it everywhere. what if i applied with the jet program... what if i moved to japan and just kept on learning... what if i made it my career? what if, what if, what if. who would do these things with me?

i must say, though - i really do love french. and i only need one more semester to satisfy the requirement for my major. life could be worse. the trees could come alive and start eating people.

i'm pretty bummed out that it really wasn't practical for me to go to paris on free travel. it's so silly that money can make the difference between people experiencing the wonderful things the world has to offer. money can make the difference between whether or not people can even eat. it's just silly. it makes no sense.

oh, speaking of things that are stupid beyond all human comprehension, katie and i both got all of our money stolen while on the nile river cruise. laaaame. lame. i was upset. but it's alright, and i hope that whoever has my 45 euro and katie's 90 euro spent is wisely.

i got pretty sick in egypt, as well, but there was one upside... katie and i spent so much time in our room on the cruise ship that she taught me some chords on the guitar (my friend tim just happened to bring one of harding's guitars with him on the trip, which i kept in my room), and so my first time ever knowing what i'm doing with a guitar was when i was in a boat on the famed nile. i think that is incredible. so... now i can play a not-quite-so-recognizable-yet version of "let it be" by the beatles. but, for a girl who could only play e minor for several years of her life, that's a pretty big step.

i listened to a pedro the lion album pretty much nonstop for the second part of the trip... i am hopelessly in love with it. achilles heel. quality stuff, kids. the song "the poison" is my favorite. it's so painful to listen to, because the words make me feel so much. i would really really really love to believe that i have never made anybody feel the way that a person must feel to write a song like that. having said that, i don't think that i should ever think of myself as earth-shattering enough to actually have that sort of effect on anybody. and i don't think that's a bad thing.

we are all just people. each of you means something to me. we're all so different and so alike and that is more beautiful than i could really explain on a stupid blog.

aaaaahhhhh carrie and katie and i got the three person room that we've been wanting for next semester... i am so excited about that. it's going to be a lot of fun.

i cannot wait for next semester. and i can't wait to be in hawaii for a while.

near a sea of pianos,
there were waves of chords that crashed against the shore
in one huge and pointless roar.
and there were girls bringing water,
like a dream they came to cure the fever of my brain,
and soothe my burning throat.
and they made me a necklace,
hanging beads of sweat on a string of my regrets,
and placed it round my neck
and they were singing, don't you do what you've wanted to.
yeah, don't destroy yourself like those cowards do
and maybe the sun keeps coming up
because it has gotten used to you
and your constant need for proof.

when we arrived at the villa at the beginning of the semester, there was a can of air freshener in our bathroom left over from the last occupants.

this seems like a stupid thing to mention on my blog, no doubt, but go with me on this, because i've spent a lot of time contemplating this aerosol can.

the name of the scent is "summer romance".

so, summer romance. that's supposed to clear the toxic atmosphere.

see, when you add summer romance to a crappy situation, it doesn't necessarily make it all flowery and happy. sometimes, when you spray a flowery air freshener in a bathroom, the two smells combine to create something infinitely more putrid and disagreeable. summer romance solves nothing.

so, alls i'm saying is, i don't think i need a can of "summer romance".

i thought a can of "semester abroad" would make life clearer.

i guess all that really works is "spending liberal amounts of time with people that understand and care, and occasionally sitting in my car and listening to music."

or maybe "dancing in the rain". katie and i definitely did that.



you bore me completely
i've got everything i need

it's time for me to be a friend.

drugs. are. not. cool.

drinking. is. not. cool.

i don't care if you're 21.

i don't care if your friends are 21.

if you go to harding, you agreed not to.

i will not surround myself with people who do these things.

i absolutely cannot have friends who enjoy these things.

i am not joking, not even a little.

next semester, i am taking american literature, british literature, international law and diplomacy, writing poetry, life of christ, and racquetball.

can she do it? she hopes so.

it's a strange sort of resignation that i'm feeling. friends move on sometimes, and we all get left behind once in a while. i'm glad that you seem fulfilled, but i miss you all the same.

this is not by any means a post dedicated to kerry. it just might seem that way, but believe that it isn't.

kerry's profile says:
to give up is a constant decision.
you give up far too easily.
and far too constantly.
never give up on something you can't go a day without thinking about.
never.

that's pretty much all i've got today. and some pictures.



it well may be
that we will never meet again
in this lifetime



so let me say before we part
so much of me
is made of what i learned from you



you'll be with me
like a handprint on my heart



and now whatever way our stories end
i know you have rewritten mine
by being my friend



like a ship blown from its mooring
by a wind off the sea



like a comet pulled from orbit
as it passes a sun



like a seed dropped by a skybird
in a distant wood



who can say if i've been changed for the better?
but because i knew you
i have been changed for good