i have no idea why i haven't settled into my schedule well yet. i don't remember how long it took the last 4 times.

our room in pattie cobb is quite excellent. elizabeth is a really great roommate and i'm glad that, given our situation, we were randomly placed with her instead of creepy watches-me-while-i-sleep transfer student. she's very quiet and calm, and i think that is a pretty interesting fit for our room. our furniture is set up pretty interestingly, and we've already hyperdecorated. ah, college.

my computer is broken. so is my cell phone. what an unfortunate thing to have a talent for - breaking expensive electronics.

people who are in relationships seem to forget how lucky they are. i'm glad that i have you, robin.

what if i shaved my head?

ah, classes. <-- that should be singular, since i only had one today: ethics. it's going to be a great class. i can feel it. tomorrow might not be so marvelous. advanced comp, french lit, systems of english grammar, and british lit. people ask what i'm going to do with my free time on tuesdays and thursdays - i guess i'll spend it studying english. amazing. speaking of which, the rain outside is beautiful and we were allowed out on the balcony. pattie cobb really isn't a bad place. anyway, the storm is nice. it is as if there is a giant camera taking pictures.

once in a while i have to stop and think, i'm excited about being allowed on the balcony of the building i live in. this school does crazy things to you.

i need to write some letters.

there isn't anything all too interesting for me to say. this semester is going to be strange and very different from all others i've experienced. there is a lot to get used to and i'm going out on a limb.

and a balcony.

thrift store shirts
and old haircuts
living in an old sitcom
whatever happened to soy bomb?

short short short. i am back at harding.

at this point, i would probably talk about my feelings a lot more if i understood them even remotely. classes are a welcome distraction. also, i'm going to try very hard not to alienate myself from people this semester just because i'm in a relationship. i hope that everybody holds me to that. there are too many people in the world and too many people at this school who are needed and who need others for one to justify spending time exclusively with a single person, regardless of how one feels about that person. (i am talking to myself and nobody else.)

everybody's changing and i don't feel the same.

(i'm not unhappy.)

i'm alive, i'm alive!

how in the world is everybody? mmhmm. good...

i'm in sherman now, with robin. it is awesome. it's hard to believe that after everything, we're together and so much in love. i traveled to lubbock with his family this weekend. i hadn't ever been to lcu before, and it made me love harding to tiny private-christian-school-shaped pieces. i'm sure that robin's sister, beth, will have a really great time there, though. starting college is such a great time. also, i got to see my grandfather. he's crazy. i love him.

meanwhile, my sister katie was sworn in to the foreign service, which is awesome. i wish i could have had the opportunity to share that with her, but at least my parents got to attend the ceremony. i miss my family. why does that always happen?

i am so anxious to begin school again. since carrie's not returning, katie and i have this new roommate. i'm terrified that she will be irreconcilably different from the two of us. it will probably be really difficult for her, though, to have to come in so late in the game when katie and i know each other so intimately (sexual implications, yes). we're all going to have to make the best of it... i only hope she has cute clothes for us to borrow. ah, i'm an adult.

golly, that's about it. i love you guys, and i can't wait to see you.

i have become the queen of list-writing. it makes me so efficient. i'm flying to dallas tomorrow evening, and i've just written out a list of things i need to take care of before i step onto the plane. it isn't a particularly short list.

the first item is "wake up early". at least 8:30. can she do it?

ah, the destination is worth the journey. wish me luck.

i should be honest with everybody.

i have been creepily obsessed with the show "my so-called life" all summer. i'm horrified that it only lasted for 19 episodes, and i've decided not to buy it on dvd because just having 19 episodes isn't enough. i would watch them and just wonder and wonder what happened to the characters. it's sick. i was just on a website reading the episode guide. it's like i'm thirteen and claire danes is in a boy band. on the giant fansite where i was looking at the episode guide, they've even posted poems that some fans have written about the show. i guess i could be worse - i could be composing so-called verses.

why did rayanne have to go and sleep with jordan catalano? how come they never got ricky a boyfriend? why doesn't angela know how pretty she is? why doesn't brian just tell angela how he feels? aggghhhh... why isn't there a second season? shame on you, abc. shame. in the absence of my boyfriend, have i emotionally replaced him with a television program?

fortunately, searcy cable doesn't carry the channel that airs the old episodes. so i'll be quitting cold turkey. tomorrow is my last so-called night. i miss jared leto already...

so what embarrassing obsessions do you have?

whoa. you guys are way too concerned about whether or not i get married. the point of that whole thing was to illustrate the amazing bleakness* of morrissey.



anyway.

my time left in hawaii is really dwindling. luckily, dad's playing awful radio music, which makes my few remaining minutes seem like hours. =) i'm getting on the plane in honolulu wednesday evening, sleeping on the plane thanks to some malt liquor (sleepy meds, actually), and waking up thursday morning in dallas to step off the plane and see robin. hopefully i'll be miraculously beautiful after that 7-hour flight. it's difficult to look hot after you've been inevitably wedged between an overweight pacific islander and the toe-smashing wheels of the cart the attendants pushed up and down the aisle. i think they hit my feet on purpose because they're jealous that i don't have to wear an embarrassing uniform with too much make-up (i admit that's a generalization. some of the men don't wear make-up at all!). actually, i do believe that would be a fun job. loads of travel benefits, at least, for my semi-annual excursions to japan.

ooh... that brings me to my next point. my sister katie, the one who has spent the last year doggedly pursuing a career in the foreign service, has been assigned to osaka, japan! that is really exciting stuff, folks! she's going to have some sort of assistant consul position or somesuch. it's all very technical, because she is so brilliant and important. not sarcasm, actually! =) i'm already running constant searches for ticket prices, the best of which has been $892 from dallas. ah, japan... you have not seen the last of karyn kiser! best. country. ever.

so i'm off to pack. if i trip and accidentally end up on a flight to japan instead of dallas, i hope you forgive me, robin... i just need to scope out some of osaka's nightlife. here's to my last sunday in hawaii!

*for a more complete look at morrissey's bleakness, please read the following passages:

1."all your friends and your foes would rather die than have to touch you" (disappointed)
2."how i dearly wish i was not here in the seaside town that they forgot to bomb. come, come, come, nuclear bomb" (everyday is like sunday)
3."i don't mind if you forget me...i never left an impression on anyone" (i don't mind if you forget me)
4."satan rejected my soul. as low as he goes, he never quite goes this low." (satan rejected my soul)
5. "there must be something horribly wrong with me" (yes, i am blind)

interesting morrissey facts:
- "pretty girls make graves", now the name of a band, was originally a smiths single.
- he used the phrase "brick on the small of my back" in a song way before brand new.
- his handwriting has been made into a computer font.
- he was once spoofed on bill nye, whom i saw live on my thirteenth birthday.
- i think he's strangely attractive.

i have to stop. i'm sorry about this post, everybody. =)

last night i had a dream that i got married, and tonight i watched a movie in which the bride left the groom at the altar.

it was a pretty neutral message.

morrissey has this to say about marriage:
i'm writing this to say
in a gentle way
thank you - but no
i will live my life as i
will undoubtedly die - alone

that proves my original point: morrissey makes me want to get up and dance, all the time.