do you understand the feeling where you know that you desperately need to make a personal phone call, but you keep putting it off until it's been so long that it would be almost inappropriate to call and have to go through the awkward process of explaining how it took so long to call?
i'm sorry that it took so long to call.
this semester just continues to establish itself as wildly different.
i'm a bison staff writer now, which i'm extremely excited about. they're giving me about as much as i have to pay in thoughtless and unfortunate parking tickets each semester, so hopefully i'll break even. my classload has been more difficult than i had anticipated, which is almost comical considering the moments i spent fretting over such a full schedule. so far i've managed to stay on top of things and ahead in my homework. two of my classes are completely in french, which is both terrible and amazing. french conversation class makes me feel happy and excited about the language, and french literature just makes me feel stupid.
my bible class is truly fascinating - i have never before had a bible class that i would choose to be enrolled in even if it were not required. that in itself is a very exciting development for me, and i feel like i'm going to emerge from ethics class at the end of this semester with a genuine understanding of the subject. (my professor is even allowing me to write my ethics term paper on two pieces of classic literature with opposing ethical implications instead of the case study that everybody else is doing. it's going to be much more difficult, but i am going to actually care about what i'm studying.)
i've found myself using my leisure time to do bizarre and random things, perhaps because i want to
truly unwind and be free. yesterday elizabeth and i drove about 10 miles away to the tiny town of joy, arkansas, just because. it's not like we even did anything there, but it made me happy. i guess you could say it brought me joy. har har.
i know what i believe, but i don't know why i do the things i do. doing nothing doesn't seem to bring god into focus. (
but i'd rather be working for a paycheck than waiting to win the lottery.)
i want to graduate from college and live a bohemian life in europe.
honestly.
let's do it.
